Distraction and dreams

I forget what I want out of life. 

I have been thinking all day long about what to write  for my zine and blog and I come up with nothing that stays in my head long enough to get paper and pen and actually get it out. It's a bit flippy and racy in there (my mind) and I get distracted by DS and housework and.. well those are enough to distract anyone for a whole day. and even longer

I hang out washing and put another load on and then the kitchen gets cleaned and then lunch happens and I put the washing out and the kitchen gets cleaned again then I take the washing in and then I make dinner and the kitchen doesn't get cleaned because of exhausted feet. In between all these chores (& sometimes during) I am feeding bottle after bottle and changing nappy after nappy and sshhing crying baby, so it does take a long time to finish everything. So long in fact, that I don't finish everything. sad face.

What did I used to dream about doing?

A funny dream happened they other night:
I was  on a helicopter flying around a tropical paradise and with binoculars I see a cruise boat and the bed Mariah Carey( wtf?) will use on her wedding night . It is done up like a diva deserves. There is a bed the size of 4 king bed with white sheets and shear curtains everywhere and columns with vines spiraling up to the top then the helicopter went on to the cruise ship and all the wedding guests were there then we (my family and I) got kicked off the ship, (because we weren't really invited), personally by Mariah and 2 bodyguards. We left on a boat that went to a really long jetty and at the end of the jetty Vietnamese people were fishing with nets, but on closer inspection they were fishing for shoes. The shoes were from people who had died at sea. Creepy.  Then there was a floating op shop which was really interesting until I came to the realization that all these things were belongings of people who had also died at sea. I had to convince my family who were touching all the things that these were creepy things ans then the dream ends I think.

my 1st zine for you to print out and fold in to pocket size

useful link:

issue two found here

http://teacosykat.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/im-little-teapot-issue-two.html

Baby's 1st holiday.

Tomorrow night my DP and I are leaving for Taree to pick up Grandma B and Grandpa B. The following day, we are completing the journey north to Coolangatta. The reason for the big trip is to go to a big music and dance festival (and cars, called wintersun)

I have packed and DP is currently packing because he has work all tomorrow and then we need to pack for DS. phew. I don't know how Grandma B and Grandpa B are going to fit there things in as well. . we are going to stay for 3 nights.

Babies take up so much room in a car! 

Keen for tafe to start

I registered a place in a tafe course and now I need to pay for it. Its $200 and unfortunately not subsidised by the governement. that is because it is a different kind of tafe qualification. (I reckon they should still be at least partially subsidised , but what can I do) . It is called interior design (tafe plus statement)
 Starts in August. I sort of wanted to start sooner I have my book ready and have ready some interior design magazine already :-) I'm feeling keener than mustard.

I am a cow . . moo

I am sitting here expressing milk for my ds. I absolutely hate doing it. It feels like a time wasting vortex where I have to sit in an uncomfortable position for 20 mins with only one hand free. in this instance I am typing one handed.

I wouldnt mind so much if I had a decent supply but I  don't. I only get about 15 - 20 mls per side. its very  distressing for me not being able to provide for my baby boy. He gets most of his bottles filled with formula instead. I dont understand how my measly amount of milk could be so damn important to his health.

Some more ancient pictures

Overactive middle of the night

I am up very late because my mind is being over active for this time of night. the family is asleep except for ds who i can hear in his bedroom making ahhs and oos. He has just been fed and changed (and cuddled) so he should *crosses fingers* go back to sleep on his own soon. because the adults and preteen in the household are all sleeping I am trying not to bang the keys on the keyboard to heavily. nor am I chewing my food. or making noise with the spoon louder than I need to.

I dislike being up at this time. Mostly its because I will be hungry through the "sleeping time" and eat something . this morning I'm eating apricot weetbix cereal. Its just a little earlier than i would normally eat it. I don't like this extra eating because I am obese and trying to lose weight. unfortunately this time of the few comes with little self control.

Another reason is obviously that I will feel horrible and want to have a sleep when everyone else wakes up. despite both these good reasons to be asleep at this time, I am awake and tapping away at the computer trying to vent a bit.

My mind feels quite active and excited about a potential house that I can really see myself, dp and ds living in. Its the darling house that I described in the 1st blog. Another thing I am awake over is not having a job. I want to be employed part time hours in something I can enjoy. I'm not completely worried about the pay but I would prefer to get a wage rather than volunteer because i have been a volunteer for a long time and its time to make some money.

I know i should worry more about being a mum to my ds who was born preemie in March and has been with us at home for only a few weeks. despite this I still think about being employed.

One thing that is a major barrier to employment, is my age and lack of relevant experience. I would love to be given the same chance that a high school aged kid gets in a shop somewhere, selling things. When I handed out CVs and cover letters, I got no interest (even in christmas rush time).  It was really disheartening.

some picture i drew

House excitement

I start my blogging with my excited rambling about a magical little house dp and I have seen for sale. I like the house, the property, the street, the area AND the price is reasonable (I think :-S - I sort of get boggled by anything over 2000 dollars).

This house, in a suburb nearby, has a delightful art studio in the very green backyard including a vegie patches, flower beds, citrus and other established trees and a fishpond. Under the house is a spacious garage and workshop (good for dp to make some custom built furniture) and a laundry and storage area (I think the storage area used to be servants quarters but im not sure).

Up the stairs on to the cement landing in pretty good nick, ready for a power blast with a pressure cleaner. The front windows have some cute brown faux shutters [I would like to paint red or blue :-)] The front door has some amber glass panels that I would like to replace with some stained glass in a more attractive colour. I only want to paint or replace these things because they aren't my taste in colour, they are actually in very good nick, which is surprising since i think the house is old.

Now inside: polished wooden floors, two bedrooms and a nursery (perfect - for ds), an old oven (very cute but may be removed eventually to make more room) in the kitchen- needs new cupboards, shelves and benches but the floor is fine. Even though it was a damp day there was no signs of damp in the house not even a musty smell :-). The ceiling in the main bedroom and the wall could use paint but its not urgent.

The thing I see as the must urgent to do is to replace some of the windows because there is one that is smashed out and some of the others don't open because there old and stiff. These ones don't have fly-screens which would have to be looked into. so there is a cost that we would have to put into the house close to soon after buying but I see it as a good investment

I'm so pleased to have seen a little gem with so much character on the market without having a berko price on it, and is not falling apart or smelly.

Another thing is the real estate agent appeared to HAVE a soul, yes, unbelievable but true.  makes me pleased to have him involved

this is all on the hopeful dreams list atm.
fingers crossed